Wake up. Snuggle with mom, then begin using her and dad as a jungle gym.Go downstairs with Dad and Jake. Snack on cereal and bananas in high chair.
Hands up in the air declare "All done!"
Check recycling bin for items that need to be moved to the garbage. Move said items.
Wander the house for items that need to go in the garbage. eg: i-pods, shoes, sippy cups, toys, any piece of loose paper, socks, etc.
Check garbage can for items that are not garbage. eg: scraps of paper, half-eaten apples, wrappers, banana peels, etc.
Take off socks and shoes.
Remove all pillows from all couches and chairs.
Remove all pots and pans from cupboards.
Remove all tupperware from cupboard.
Remove all cutting boards and cookie sheets from cupboard.
Look out the window for the neighbors' garbage cans.
Climb on a chair to see what's on the dining room table - remove any items with grand sweeps of the arm.
Look for stray cheerios or raisins on the floor. Eat them.
Look out the kitchen door for rabbits or squirrels or gophers or birds.
Take off socks and shoes again.
Fill diaper. Excitedly take dirty diaper out to the "gar-gar."
Wander around the downstairs in search of "mamama.'
After finding Mama, demand, "Up!" and then lay head on her shoulder while patting her with both hands.
Open pantry. Proceed to empty pantry of all soup, canned tomatoes and vegetables, and boxes of crackers.
Untie "baby-proofing" that mom put on pantry handles and repeat above.
Haul around any large object, including but not limited to: laundry baskets (full or empty), bar stools, child-size rocking chairs, garbage cans (full or empty), art easels, plastic bins full of toys.
Sneak up onto mom's office chair and send a few e-mails.
Climb the first few stairs to be able to reach the light switch. Turn lights on and off at least 20 times.
Climb up the rest of the stairs; look for objects to throw down the stairs.
Find smaller objects to drop through the rails to the entry floor 12 feet below.
Flush a toilet a time or two.
Remove all newspapers from basket next to the fireplace; scatter them about.
Find mom's phone that she was silly enough to leave within reach; make a few calls.
Sneak into the bathroom and stuff a bunch of toilet paper down the toilet, flush it, then sneak out again and leave a fun flooded mess for someone to find an hour later.
Have a snack & guzzle down a cup of milk/eggnog.
Nap for 2 hours.
Wake, and repeat.
